Steph

How can i avoid a person i don’t want to see, moreover, spend the night with? I know, hate is a sin. She’s just so irritatingly confident. Electrifying (haha oa). I wish there were a live stealth setting just so I can breathe the air without being aware of her presence.

Hay, pag no choice nga naman.

But wait, there’s more! Just when I learned to play this other person’s games, he’s changing it again! Oh strategy. Grabe, I hate you, just when I learned to hate you, you’re being nice!

These people talaga. Cover my semi-permeable eyes!!!

1. My life is very complicated.

On the second thought, whose isn’t anyway?

2. I’m thinking, what’s the pleasure of being indifferent if the more you deny, the more you become.

3.Here’s a little secret my dear bloggie, holy! I have just been offered to model in Sri Lanka’s FHM. I was like HELLO. *shift to tagalog mode* talagang gusto nyo makita flabs and tabs ko? oh what summer gives. natawa ako eh. haha. sure? hahahha pero di un eh, i have Values and i stick to it.

ay grabe. funeh.

World, become a better place. please. 

Went on a 6-day va-cay in Lucban, Quezon with high hopes of experiencing their very own Pahiyas Festival. Seemingly “lucky” we are, it was raining kittens and puppies in our entire stay there.

Day 1. …Well I can’t really enumerate all those things we’ve done to spend those idle rainy hours because as much as i can recall, those first few days were spent eating, sleeping, and eating. oh, there’s tv by the way. (going to lucban was a 4 hour traffic drive and i blame it on the slex thing going on.) like i said, it was raining.. and may i just rate that rain whose drops are those in between that of a signal no.1 storm and that of a drizzle hence the puppies and the kittens. anyhow, so our first “stop” began on our second day, a wednesday, which was in Kamay ni Hesus. It resembles Baguio’s Lourdes Grotto, only a lot better facade-wise.You know that place is the place you should be going to if you feel like the whole world is on your shoulders; that place is just amazing because it seems to take away your problems. Not to mention that it is actually well-known for its miraculous healing masses by Fr. Suarez. I am so happy that I was able to share those beautiful moments with my loved ones. Went there with my balikbayan Tita Eva, Tito Mon, Rae, my mom, my cousin Ralph, and my grandmother After climbing those 300 flights, went for a sumptuous lunch in Kamayan sa Palaisdaan who offers nothing but the best and fresh-est seafoods. plus the alluring very Filipino ambience to boot!

I actually thought that that was it. We actually felt like the rain wanted to keep us inside Tita Margie’s house because we werent able to take a single picture with the Kipings of the Pahiyas houses. How awful is that -_- We just watched the TV coverage the next day.

So days went by and we were technically house-arrested. The farthest we can go to was to the Church, and likewise, it was very beautiful and um preserved. Spent days watching american idol (go Archuleta!) and nba as influenced by the balikabayans haha..Babysitted my cousin, whose innocence was never as stunning and as cute.
Nothing will be as meaningful as her, “hi ate stepy”, “i scared”, “im happy”, “carry me”, “oh yeah, i like it”, “mommy, im crying”, “i want crackers (uber slanged i heard as water..i kept on giving her water. lol)” and many more. i love rae:)

so again, hours passed, days passed, i thought i was never going to survive the rurals except for the fact that i kept on being amazed with their ala-eh cute accent.

our last night came and boom! it was amazing. tito mon, brought us with him to his batch 66 reunion. and can i just say, i was the youngest of this bunch. It was brown-out the entire of our last night! and it was “welcoming” huh. so in short, eat, drink, eat, politicking with ex-vicemayor, hearing tito’s classmate profess his high school lovie, and those green jokes that i tried to bear. so feeling fitting in ako. til they danced, (ballroom ito! thanks to MCHS PE haha)and guess what i danced too with them. haha. it was soo fun, i wont offer to describe how fun it was to spend that night as such, except that around 3 parent(s) sort of proposed their sons to me. lol. it was so funny i thought that i would never have to find a boyfriend if i kept on strategizing on how to be buddies with the ‘rents. lol.

so anyways, after that, nagkakuryente, after a couple a songs, nagbrownout ulit til the party had to end narin.. picture piture sa patio rizal and then walked home. scarce ang tric dun at di uso ang car. sabi nga ni tito agot, pang-aso ang sidewalk. haha. til we reached tito agot’s brother’s house, may i just say, AMAZING house! he owns the buddy’s burger which has 8 branches already. sorry naman, may elevator! 6 floors, with an amazing rooftop. 5th floor is the entertainment room, my favorite. OPEN BAR!!! AMAZINg. i cant stop saying amazing. it truly is. ayoko na i-describe baka ma-akyat-bahay pa sila lol. but these amazing people who own the amazing house are truly amazing for their humility is unbelievable. you would never have thought. hands down Veluz family.

my Lucban trip was such an amazing experience. i love it. i dream of having a resthouse in these two places: Batangas and Lucban. oh love.

Indeed, some things are better left unsaid. I swear.

On pushing people away and on pushing them towards you…

Well, would you rather push people away because of two reasons? one, because they’re too good to be true making it hard for you to break down the walls you built up and two, because you’re used to pushing yourself towards them.

Or do you still choose to bear your pathetic initiative of pushing yourself towards this person just so you can trespass that fine place in this person’s life? You remain unwelcome to the person’s happy place and yet, you play innocent, you insist further, hoping efforts will someday pay off.

Here’s the deal,

you push them away, they wake up to reality, realize you do not deserve them, they go away, you miss them, their attention, their presence, eventually you regret, you get them back, they pursue on bothering someone else, they succeed, they’d be happy, you might not be just yet, you wonder and wander… you’re stuck in reverse, you lose… you move on, learned your lesson, find the One, you win.

or

you push yourself towards them, they do not care a bit, you insist, they noticed, you hope, and hope and hope and hope, you push yourself further, they move away, you went all the extra miles, they leave you hanging, with a dash of false hopes, you hit your skull, it does not break, you pursue, further and further you push toward, you’re breathless, you gasp, you wake up, you walk away, you set them free, they walk away, they regret, they miss you, that push, that force, they want you back, you’re broken, you’re mending, you move on, and on, life is fair, you’d be happy, eventually. they forget you, you lose. you forgave them, forgot the pain, mended and loved again, you win.

This is insane on the membrane…

Happy mother’s day to all mothers:)

We’re planning to produce a short film for the upcoming nursing cinemax this October and we’re starting from scratch.

Hmm, it’s too big a project but…

be positive. be positive. be positive. x100

Do you ever wonder where your happy place could be?

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart… forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. –Hannah More

I love you in the morning

Heavy night it was a heavy night
Feels like we come back from the dead
Heavy night it was a heavy night
I cannot remember what I said to anyone

With you I am calm
A pearl in your oyster
Head on my chest a silent smile, a private kind of happiness
You see giant proclamations are all very well
But our love is louder than words

What’s wrong with being human?

I woke up today feeling human… You know, the kind in which one opens her eyes, realizes there’s no work to do and that it is a free, vacant day ahead, and so she decides to return to her sweet slumber. Over and over again.

However, during the wee hours, when she is unable to sleep, she just cannot; she wonders what she is here for? She wonders what her purpose is or if she even has one. She wonders if she is made for something great. Or is she just some speck of dust, wandering, just so to occupy space?

At this time, I have none to offer. No talent nor intelligence. Just faith. Maybe my beliefs will someday bring me to places. I believe that each of us has a destiny and a purpose. It is great in in its own. Nobody can wield it but one’s self. But we must be careful with this destiny; it cannot be greater than us nor can you be greater than it. It is our equal, our ally, our nemesis. It succeeds, so do you. It dies, so do you.

Humans have limits. We must recognize and acknowledge it. We should dream big. Work hard for it. Most importantly, look back to where you came from.

Live life. Live it with meaning.

I whispered, ‘I am too young,’ And then, ‘I am old enough’;

Wherefore I threw a penny To find out if I might love.

‘Go and love, go and love, young man, If the lady be young and fair.

‘ Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny, I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,

There is nobody wise enough

To find out all that is in it,

For he would be thinking of love

Till the stars had run away

And the shadows eaten the moon.

Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,

One cannot begin it too soon.