Steph

Err my bad side.
Today, im just so selfish. I want to do our thesis alone. You see, a multitude of (unique?, disagreeing, incoherent) ideas isn’t useful all the time. It’s just getting on my nerve, and the down side is that I have to pretend (i so hate pretending) that everything’s okay when it is not! I just didn’t want to stir misunderstandings so you know, i had to give way to this creatures just so I can end fourth year without so-called enemies. Right, that’s just so gradeschool.

We’ll be assigned in ust’s mental institution for our next shift. In line with that, our rle group had to undergo this sensitivity session our what some call Johari’s window. So this unusual friend of mine commented that i am becoming indifferent at times. In response to that, I said that I will try to resolve my indifference and look for another defense mechanism. Today, on the second thought, apathy just so rocks. Nothing beats detachment. So I guess it will be hard for me to (uberly)”care” when the situation just calls for it. Because if i do care or notice or acknowledge these irritating things that my system just cant take, I will only be back to my paranoid self.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s really nice to have classmates, groupmates, and of course, friends, but sometimes, you just have to do away with arguments. It makes the world a lot more of a better place.

Sigh. I want to burst. (in anger? or disappointment? or everything else? i so don’t know.)

The Dark Knight’s title should be changed to The Joker.

Superb.

sigh. so burnt out. one minute im okay. the next, im not.

i will be. right.

“this might not be our turf steph,”-anna

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The news. The devastation. The hike. The inevitable. The change. The loss. The emotions. The civilians. The poor. The poorer. The rich. The richer. The innocents. The deprived. The news. The world. The hopeful. The hopeless.

The support. The family. The friends. The outbreak. The detachment. The doubt. The trust. The faith. The self. The remains.

Isang malaking buntong hininga.

“Indeed, the kind of time you spend with your children will be the kind of time they will spend with you when you grow old…”

-Father Luke, for his Father’s Day homily

_____

 “it was a long time ago but i still think about it.”

1. Don’t rush but don’t waste my time
2. Try saving the world in my spare time but still live each minute to the fullest
3. I cannot please EVERYbody
4. KARMA exists. be vigilant.
5. love and respect myself. do the same to others.

Above all, always, always, make God the center of my life.

To fourth year college, cheers!

_____

i find these cute hehe:

“how do i look in your eyes?…”

Climate’s natural pattern seems busted… Oil and rice prices shoot up.. Everything else follows.. Summer’s ending… Apparently, we’re off to sum up school life in ten hopeful months.

 From this day on, I have a target verb: FOCUS.

We shall rock and roll with the remaining days we have, my dear colleagues. There is nothing I wish but to end college suave, doing nothing to destroy the wonderful relationships we’ve found to build through the years.

For the summer 2008 that was, I am grateful for the happiness it caused me and my family. I am content because I was able to spend my last academic summer wisely and meaningfully. I was able catch up with my highschool roots. I saw that he was happy. Met up with Shari Marie like thrice this summer. Fontana escapades, mall and movie and unwinding galore. Things I cannot do when school starts. My liver had her own share of escapades. I was able to bond with my cousins. I was able to fill the lost time because of school works. I was able to do my extracurricular obligations. I was able to meet new friends. Oh, we went clubbin.. I was able to be with my family and my my grandparents. Serve them at the same time. Bonded with my room, my bed, and our cupboard. I had quality bonding time with God because of the youth camp/retreat I joined.. I learned and experienced many things. I was technically sent away and I naturally came back home. I drove and drove for our balikbayan visitors. Went to Lucban. Saw the rural and simple life. Learned a lot. Toured them around the Manila they left 4 years ago, thereafter. Roxas Boulevard and Greenhills, always bein the spots. Eating has always been a pleasure, I’ve gained.  I have also bumped the NLEX tollgate’s TCZ or that thing that moves up and down to separate cars when you get tickets. Toll way patrol had to get my license for 5 minutes. We were on convoy with dad, he had to drive reverse for a couple of meters too. I had to sign a written statement. God has not forsaken me, we got through it. Got my license back. Lesson learned: focus is an understatement. focus focus focus is more like it.

What made me really happy through the summer was when Tita Eva came back home with her very kind husband tito mon and their little angel, Rae. I was happy to see mom and my grandmother happy because of all our escapades:). Now that they’re back in the States, I miss them already. I wish I had a house so big I could possibly keep all my loved ones there forever and see them every single day. Now that’s called heaven…

Nothing beats family.

______

Buddha said:

“In the end, only three things matter:
how much you loved,
how gently you lived,
and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”

Have you seen a concert (on tv hehe, i was home) so overwhelming that it can (almost) absolutely take away your worries? I HAVE!!! Was switching channels until I reached Velvet channel which featured ENRIQUE IGLESIAS’ November 6th `07 concert at the Odyssey Arena, Belfast, Northern Ireland. It was an amazingly different concert. Tickets sold out! I might sound perv for a sec haha but he was steaming hot and sexy! His sultry concert had soul and he didn’t need anorexic nor voluptuous women to back him up. He had his own audience and he gave them perhaps the best night of their lives! He was wearing only plain white shirt and jeans and he still rocked like a star himself. It was too overwhelming you would want to be with him forever. haha. He was just so nice and sweet and everything else to his audience (He kissed a girl from the audience after singing her Hero!),  I could have given up other things just to be there, live.

“I want to be your man for the next 5 minutes” -Enrique to this girl

Hay. hotness.

I want a DVD copy of this concert just so I can watch it every single day.  

Would you dance
if I asked you to dance?
Would you run
and never look back?
Would you cry
if you saw me cry?
And would you save my soul, tonight?Would you tremble
if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh?
Oh please tell me this.
Now would you die
for the one you loved?
Hold me in your arms, tonight.I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.Would you swear
that you’ll always be mine?
Or would you lie?
would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don’t care…
You’re here tonight.

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I’m letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no!

You’ll always be a part of me
I’m a part of you indefinitely
Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby

You’ll always be a part of me (oooohhhh)
I’m part of you indefinitely (oooohhhh)
Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me (ooooohhhhhh)
Ooh darlin cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on (and we will linger on)
Time cant erase a feeling this strong (ohhhh)
No way you’re never gonna shake me (oh baby)
Ooh darlin cause you’ll always be my baby

You and I will always be
No way your never gonna shake me
No way your never gonna shake me
You and I will always be

How can i avoid a person i don’t want to see, moreover, spend the night with? I know, hate is a sin. She’s just so irritatingly confident. Electrifying (haha oa). I wish there were a live stealth setting just so I can breathe the air without being aware of her presence.

Hay, pag no choice nga naman.

But wait, there’s more! Just when I learned to play this other person’s games, he’s changing it again! Oh strategy. Grabe, I hate you, just when I learned to hate you, you’re being nice!

These people talaga. Cover my semi-permeable eyes!!!